Laugh Funny Quotes about Life: 75 Funny Quotes on Life

Introduction

Laugh Funny Quotes about Life remind us to find joy in everyday moments. Life can be tough, but a good laugh can make everything feel lighter. These quotes capture the humor in our daily struggles and the silly things we all experience. Whether it’s a funny take on work, family, or friendships, these quotes help us see the brighter side of life. They encourage us to smile, share a laugh with friends, and not take ourselves too seriously. Let’s explore some of these amusing quotes that can bring a little joy and laughter to our lives.

75 Laugh Funny Quotes about Life

Here are 75 Laugh Funny Quotes about Life:

1. “I love mankind… it’s people I can’t stand!” — Charles M. Schulz  

2. “There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.” — Jerry Seinfeld  

3. “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” — Mae West  

4. “I’m not crazy — I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.” — Ouiser Boudreaux

5. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell  

6. “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the universe.” — Albert Einstein  

7. “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” — Phyllis Diller  

8. “Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.” — Pauline Thomason  

9. “If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.” — Judith Martin  

10. “Reality continues to ruin my life.” — Bill Watterson  

11. “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” — Zach Galifianakis  

12. “If we’re not supposed to eat midnight snacks, why are there even light bulbs in the fridge?” – Anonymous

13. “I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.” — Carrie Bradshaw

14. “Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.” — Blanche Devereaux

15. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” — Mitch Hedberg  

16. “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.” — Betty White  

17. “My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry!” – Anonymous

18. “I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.” — Anonymous  

19. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years; I didn’t want to interrupt her.” — Rodney Dangerfield  

20. “Someone asked me if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’” — Steven Wright  

21. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” — Steve Martin  

22. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.” — Dave Barry  

23. “Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eating.” — Frank Semyon 

24. “The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.” — Dolly Parton  

25. “I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.” — Bill Watterson  

26. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” — Isaac Asimov  

27. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit.” — W.C. Fields  

28. “Instant gratification takes too long.” — Carrie Fisher  

29. “Never miss a good chance to shut up.” — Will Rogers  

30. “I’ve had great success being a total idiot.” — Jerry Lewis  

31. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” — Cathy Guisewite  

32. “I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.” — Mae West  

33. “All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” — Alexander Woollcott  

34. “You know how advice is; you only want it if it agrees with what you wanted to do anyway.” — Anonymous   

35. “Everything that happens once can never happen again.” — Paulo Coelho   

36. “On the whole, human beings want to be good but not too good.” — Anonymous   

37. “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” — Agatha Christie   

38.  “You can’t make everyone happy; you’re not pizza!” – Anonymous  

39. “Sometimes I lie in bed at night and don’t have a single thing to worry about; that always worries me!”— Charlie Brown   

40. “I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”— Groucho Marx   

41. “Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”— Jay Leno   

42. “The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’ but ‘That’s funny…’”  – Isaac Asimov   

43. “I used to sell furniture for a living; the trouble was it was my own.” – Les Dawson   

44. “There’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.” – Graham Chapman   

45. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the war room!”— Peter Sellers   

46. “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.” – Lewis Carroll   

47. “My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.” – Winston S. Churchill   

48. “You can’t be late until you show up.” – Anonymous   

49. “The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Anonymous   

50. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high; she looked surprised.” – Anonymous   

51. “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey   

52. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke   

53. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes; she gave me a hug!” – Anonymous

54. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright   

55. “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” – Oscar Wilde   

56. “I used to think I was indecisive; now I’m not so sure.” – Anonymous   

57. “If we weren’t supposed to eat midnight snacks, why is there even light in the fridge?” – Anonymous    

58. “The difference between an ordeal and an adventure is attitude.” – Bob Bitchin    

59. “I am on energy-saving mode; please do not disturb!” – Anonymous    

60. “If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic!” – Anonymous    

61. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!” – Anonymous    

62. “I told my computer I needed a break and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers!” – Anonymous    

63. “Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? Because she kept running away from the ball!” – Anonymous    

64. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down!” – Anonymous    

65. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have guts!” – Anonymous    

66. “I’m on a seafood diet; I see food and I eat it!” – Anonymous    

67. “Life isn’t about finding yourself; it’s about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw    

68. “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain    

69. “Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.” – Jules Renard    

70 .“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright    

71 .“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!” – Anonymous    

72 .“You can’t have everything; where would you put it?” – Steven Wright    

73 .“I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right!” – Anonymous    

74 .   “Life is short; smile while you still have teeth!” – Anonymous

75 .“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin    

FAQs

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